So drunk its hurt
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize