and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
