i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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