Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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