i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
