Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
