he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize