This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would ride that face into the sunset
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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