Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
