it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
