ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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