we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
