Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
