I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize