Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
