yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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