every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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