Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
