yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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