i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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