Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I love you. Go after that dick
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