I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
