I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
