Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize