I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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