Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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