Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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