The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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