Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
