yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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