So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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