ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
