Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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