Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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