i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
