He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
