I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
