Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
