If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
