OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
nutella sex= disaster
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
