It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
