It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
