I seem to have left my pride at pride
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
