wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
