Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
