At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
