Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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