I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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