i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
