Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
