Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
