Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
