Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
