you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
