Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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