I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
