don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
50% drunk capacity currently
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
