I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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