Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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