Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
