Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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