My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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